melissa (twisted_words) wrote in parachute_x,

deceptive friendships

actually i have nothing specific to say. but i decided to do lj community service. *blows rasperry* =P

- its amazing how people can change and how easily people can go in different ways as the years go by. it's amazing how you can be best friends with someone and you guys swore you'd be friends forever and nothing would come between you guys. you'd swear on your grave that you'd never take that friendship bracelet off and you'd swear you'd never tell a single soul about that time she did this and she did that. so many promises.. so many secrets... and they only ended up to be.. a lie. why is that?

- why did they have to lie. it's worse when they lie. i knew we wouldn't be friends forever but why did they have to sound so positive to make me believe maybe we really were true friends, maybe nothing would come between us. they made me believe it was going to be alright. they all said we'd be friends forever. they said that if any one of us was ever down, we'd always be there for them right away. they always said so many things i wish were true. things that actually made me smile. i once thought it was going to be alright- i was going to live life with these people to carry me through life. it was going to be fine. it was going to be alright.

- but as the years grew and we grow older, it became hard. why didn't i have any classes with them anymore? i don't get it. how come we don't see each other in the hallways? where could they possibly be? were they still in class? on the other side of the school perhaps? and when we walked passed each other, how come they didn't glance at me, give a smile and say "hey!" how come they walked right on by? but maybe i shouldn't complain. bc i treated them the same. i passed right by them, and sometimes they would say hey nd i dindt even bother to see who it was nd just shout "hey" but i had no idea who it was, i didn't have time. maybe that's why. but it wasn't fair. no, it really wasn't. how could you possibly walk pass a person in the hallway without glancing at them, knowing you could've written a book of all the memories you guys shared just last year? how is it possible?

- the truth is. yes, we are growing up and we finally found the truth that we weren't the friends we thought we were to be. we might have so many secrets on that 8th grade trip but who knew as we grew older, you were more complex than an average teenager and you never did like the stuff we all shared? but i hate it. i hate it so much. how you still have the balls to still say "i miss you. it's been a long time since i've talked to you. i miss you so much." bc you're such a bullshitter, and you know it. you never missed me. you never dared to look at me. but what pisses me off the most is, how we all know we all moved on with our lives and here you are, still smiling and bullshittin actin as if everything was like it was before. because it's not. and it never will be.

- but im sorry too. im sorry i led people on. i was too foolish back then. i believed, too, that life was going to give us lifelong friends. and i know all i am doing is just turning around and walking away from you. and why? bc i have realized who i am. and whoever i am, is a person who could not be friends with you. no, i couldn't be. the person that i am, realizes it is time to forget you, our memories, our friendship... our past. because after all, we all are moving on, no?
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